We are open to seeing and addressing whatever is happening.
Our loyalty is to the truth, being real and authentic.
We are open to feeling discomfort, awkwardness and pain. Open to all emotions and feelings. And we do not see discomfort as bad.
We have healthy boundaries for self and others. Boundaries are understood to be necessary and loving in relationships.
We do not feel responsible for other people's feelings. We know we are responsible for our feelings, as well as how we choose to respond and address others. If we are respectful, truthful and in our integrity in our exchanges and connections we are clean. Clean meaning... we are healthy in our interactions and bear no rectification or responsibility beyond what we feel is needed.
The awareness I must earn trust, not just feel entitled to being trusted.
We are open to hearing other people and their perspectives. We do not feel the need to agree. Our intention is to seek understanding, clarity, honor and respect above all else.
Differences and disagreements are honored and respected; seen as natural.
When we are in dysfunctional relationship
Being Real and holding truth are seen as threatening. Seen as too much or mean.
The methods for dealing with each other, hiding, managing, trying to control, avoiding, distracting and rising above problems and relational issues.
Our loyalty is to protecting our dysfunction. Loyalty is assumed and expected. Loyalty to our hidden agreements and rules. Loyalty to our roles in life and our dysfunctional relationship.
We always want to feel good. Suppress and push away anything that doesn't feel good.
Needing to control everything. Trying to avoid the feeling of needed deaths; such as an old way of being, a job, an aspect of our relationship or the relationship itself. Distract from feeling nothingness or the void.
Boundaries are seen as punitive, unloving, alienating and mean. Feelings of entitlement to some degree to be included in each other's affairs all the time. Hidden belief that boundaries shouldn't be needed with "me".
Feeling responsible for each other's feelings. Trying to control how others feel, so I feel comfortable. Offended by truth, realness and authenticity. Entitled to what I want.
Feeling entitled to trust and being offended if it isn't just given.
Low level or lack of ability to hear another, to honor, respect and work through differences. A covert or overt belief I am supposed to be agreeable, instead of real.
Disagreements and differences are seen as disrespectful, disloyal or even betrayal.
If you are reading this piece... it is time to see something in your life and your relationships. It is time to Heal. Remember you have the power to change your life. You may have work to do, but so what! It was work to get where you are now, just start walking your way out. You can do it!!! Healthy is available to All.