Karen Sharing Some Bits of Her Journey... Alongside Her Mother Janis's Perspective...
Janis I wasn't always sensing the subtle nuances of life and people as my daughter has, however I did see that Karen was different within our family as well as out in the world.
Her differences were often misunderstood. She had her own thing going, not following what the world defined as right, but instead following her own compass and her own knowing of what she felt was right and just.
I have witnessed that it hasn't seemed to matter what the situation or who Karen is working with she works in integrity. I do not say this lightly.
My daughter, in our relationship, has rightfully had to address serious issues within our own family system; including some more serious issues with my sister, her deceased husband and their family. Prior to Karen addressing these issues there was much grace, compassion and flexibility shown on her part in trying to work out our family dysfunction.
I admire and respect my daughter's bravery in going into the issues within our family, as well as my issues. It had to be done, because none of us were willing to take the steps to address our family dysfunction. Although this was very painful, this has also led me into my own level of healing and lifted a huge burden I carried for most of our lives together.
My daughter has described her way as walking outside the world, or as Jesus described... in the world but not of it. She was sure of herself and clear about who she was from the time she was born, and I could see that her values came from within her own spirit and knowing.
I am and have always been an Agnostic person, so seeing the realness of her spiritual connection has been an interesting experience, because I know it's the truth but I'm not a religious or spiritual person. It has taken our walk together as mother and daughter for me to be able to square this reality and understanding for myself.
Another example of her spiritual connection showed itself when she was in the first grade and she found our local Christian bookstore on her own. I didn't know at the time, as she explained in later years, that she had always felt Jesus' presence and guidance and was being led to the Christian bookstore.
She signed up for Bible study by herself and asked me if I would come to the Christian bookstore to purchase the Bread of Life daily devotional cards for her. She went on to have me read them to her nightly. What struck me with Karen doing this is how she was led and she followed Spirit, without being raised in the church or having any background which would support or encourage these interests. As a family we had never really gone to church other than a rare event.
Karen I was receiving Divine guidance and assistance. In my life walk I have been guided and worked with many aspects of Spirituality... Jesus, the Divine Feminine, Mother Goddess, Mother Earth, Mother Mary, Kwan Yin ~ Bodhisattva, Kali, Angels (Specifically Arch Angel Micheal) and Spirit Animals. This is just as natural as breathing to me and an integrated way of being.
Ever since I can remember, I felt Jesus with me and guiding me. This way of being was all I had known. In my childhood, around second grade, I was guided to go into a Christian book store to learn more about Jesus and his walk. My family wasn't against learning about different Spiritual beliefs or traditions they just didn't resonate with seeking out and learning about anything Spiritual. My family did believe in doing what was right and being a good person. I was also taught their version of what you did in your life came back to you.
A big part of what I had to learn... was how to take a stand, whenever I was guided or felt it was the right and just thing to do. I also had to learn, to go and do whatever was needed in the moment for Healing and Justice. I had to learn to be tough if called for, totally willing to challenge status quo for the sake of Truth and Justice. This swung the pendulum of my life way out into areas people usually avoid, so now I can go wherever it is essential that I go... Warrior of the Rainbow
Blessings from Heaven. And as my friend Sheila put it, Rainbow Medicine is so Healing. This is the full Rainbow in the front of our home on September 15th, 2018.
As part of my Service and Mission, I will do what is needed in the present moment. I discern then I follow, what is contextually needed. The context based on whomever I am working with and the situation before me. I follow what is needed in order to facilitate Healing... grace, compassion, firmness or mirroring.
The theme of Truth and Justice has been infused into every phase of my life and walk. This has helped me hone in my intuitive channels, making it possible for me in my work to follow whatever is needed during the process of Healing.
My personal deep Healing began in my early twenties. Around twenty two I 'fell into' a property management position. This job served me because it gave me the time and ability to do the in-depth Healing work I needed to do. I studied psychology, sociology and Healing, followed guidance from my Guides as well as sought help from a Counselor in my own walk into Healing and Evolution.
Janis I never really believed in ghosts, but watching my daughter throughout her childhood and adulthood opened me up to this being a possibility. After my husband, Karen's dad, died in 2010 I felt grateful for her ability to connect with Spirit (and ghosts) because I had things happening in my house where I had lived with my husband that were for my rational mind inexplicable. Trying to understand the meaning of what was happening, I asked my daughter about hearing my husband calling my name I also had items from around the house being placed on my chair where I sit. When Karen would tell me what her dad was trying to impart, every time it answered something specific I had been thinking about or that was on my heart.
Karen laughing, with brothers Roy (deceased), Chris (deceased), Mike, her dad Bill (deceased), and sister Kim (deceased).
Karen The night that my dad died, he visited me at 3:30 a.m., waking me up by rustling my hair and touching my head.
Ironically, 'being Spiritual and all'... it scared the crap out of me being woken up like that in the middle of the night. I asked my husband if he had just rustled my hair and touched head, he replied he had not. I was so exhausted that I fell back to sleep. My husband said he knew it was Dad visiting and he stayed awake waiting for the phone call telling us that dad had died.
Even though I hadn't realized in the middle of the night, that my dad was saying goodbye and letting me know he would be with me, his visit ended up meaning the world to me during my process of grieving. I could feel his message... saying goodbye and letting me know he was transitioning from physically being in our lives to spiritually being there for me, my Mom and our family. My dad has visited me many times since his death, as well as visiting my mother and my children, his favorite form is as a blue-jay.
Note... when my father was alive there was a great big blue jay that formed a bond and relationship with my dad for many years. He affectionately called him Jack.
Jack would follow my dad around the yard as he did yard work, went to the mailbox and when he and my mom would sit on their back patio. When my dad would go outside and call for Jack, he would come and land on his shoulder. Jack made some last visits to my parents' place after my dad's death. One of his salutes was making a loud ruckus out on the front gutter, throwing the leaves out of the gutter onto the front sidewalk. What is funny about Jack going after the gutters is my dad hated when the gutters were full.
Janis One of the memories that stuck with me and was brought up at different times in our family was the 'Burnt Sandwiches Story"... when Karen was little, a large group of our family went out for lunch and everyone of us was served burnt food. All of us adults were complaining to each other, but proceeded ahead with just eating the food and not making trouble.
Karen could not comprehend what we were doing. Although we encouraged her to just eat her food, she stopped the waitress, politely pointed out that her food was burnt and asked if she could please have it remade. The waitress agreed and brought her a beautifully cooked sandwich, which Karen enjoyed while we all ate our burnt food.
This is a typical example of Karen following her own knowing from the time she was very young. Following what she felt was right, she was not influenced at all by the adults encouraging her, It's okay. Just eat your burnt sandwich.
Karen I now see and understand my life circumstances were part of my practicum, what I needed to experience and learn from in order to walk into my life's Calling and Mission. Having been given the opportunity to see the reality of what occurs when people are following rules outside of their moral code/compass and beliefs... which is living in-authentically; this has served to clarify the absolute necessity to follow our own integrity, discerned truth, moral code, compass and authenticity.
What I have witnessed is when people look outside themselves for their bearings and then use that perspective as their own compass, this distorts their ability to know for themselves what they need or what is true for them. What is aligned with their true nature.
Which in turn creates the experience of being out of touch with one's own self, knowing and truth. Most people are living some level of in-authenticity. This is not a judgement, the Truth is not a criticism and the Truth really does set us Free!
These experiences are part of our lesson... learning through contrast, which is our greatest Teacher.
When I refer to contrast... I am describing anything that is not aligned with our True nature/personality, methods, moral code/compass or beliefs.
And alignment is... what is True for our Natural Way of Being. When we are aligned with our nature and truth we are more at peace, empowered, able to line up with our unique gifts and able to offer Love and Healthy interactions in our lives and out in the World.
I could see and feel how backwards our world is, living outside in... looking outside ourselves for values, rules, what is right and the world's idea of truth and integrity. All of this has served as a lesson in contrast for me, which has been a powerful process of honing in and following Divine instruction from within.
It also became clear that honoring and respecting ourselves is vital to being healthy. When I honor and respect myself, I am healthy and I can truly honor and respect others. Living this way, I then have more clarity and truth to offer those around me.
Karen, with sister, Kim (deceased), to the right.
Janis In our blended family of eight children Karen was the youngest, but she made her older brothers and sister toe the line. She did not take any guff. Her older brothers affectionately teased her and called her hell on wheels in her teen years. Her older siblings were sometimes jealous or offended at the way she carried herself because she was so confident and aligned with who she was.
She set boundaries in her relationships with them and their addictions. But ultimately in their adult lives, at different times they turned to her for guidance and help. In their own ways they loved and respected her, and she them.
Karen I believe in Soul-charting. I charted to have a big, blended complex family. I now understand this was my training ground, my practicum. Part of that practicum was standing up to my older siblings and holding them accountable (with the exception of my three eldest siblings, who were so much older and not part of my daily life).
This honed in my skills and helped me learn to hold my ground and when it is time, to not be swayed. Following my Soul-charting to do whatever was necessary, no matter how big it might seem, in order to do what was "Just." It also helped me sharpen my capacity to intuit people’s authentic selves underneath their egos, personas, addictions and dysfunctions, even when they cannot feel their authentic being for themselves.
Karen on Jubilee
Janis Karen also had a natural connection with animals. This registered the most for me when in her middle school years we bought her a horse. Jubilee had not been properly trained and was difficult to ride because she ran at a full gallop, and would generally only stop when something blocked her way.
The first time Karen got on Jubilee she was able to have control and communicate with her. No one taught her how to do this. It came naturally; the horse was just part of her. From day one, they were joined.
Karen Animals communicate telepathically, intuitively and through reading energy which makes perfect sense to me. They speak my language. This was another practice in building strength and expertise with my intuition, learning to read energy with everyone and everything, whatever situation I was in. The communion I had with Jubilee was absolutely Sacred. She came to help me fine tune my walk here on Earth and to help me heal.
Karen and her mom, Janis
Janis Karen was consistently guiding and coaching her friends. This came naturally too. At the time, I really did not think very much about it. It was just part of how Karen was. She not only coached her friends, but their families as well. She also helped teach her friends how to stand up for themselves and speak their truth.
My daughter has always been the most honest person I have known. She uses her inner strength and integrity to stand up and protect others who do not know how to protect themselves, and has done this her whole life. This was another aspect about her that was misunderstood. She took a stand and spoke up whenever she felt there was injustice or when she felt it was needed based on what was happening. During the time she was growing up, people did not see bullying in the same light as they do today, so her pushing back and protecting the person being picked on was often mistakenly perceived as her being part of the problem. She was so often ahead of her time.
Karen I started offering my intuitive knowing and information from spirit guides to my friends when I was a young child. I was tentative and less direct back then with what I offered to friends and family regarding what I was seeing, hearing and receiving. This was because I started to realize that other people weren't experiencing life this way and I did not yet realize this was my calling... for me, this was just who I was.
I have walked a very human life in which part of my task was to love my humanity as I held myself accountable for my life, while being in the service of teaching others to do the same.
When I was a child my uncle and half brother sexually abused me and at 15 I experienced date rape. Going through the healing process of victimization and violation, my guides showed me that we are to process and heal these types of wounds through the lens of having had an experience of victimization and an experience of violation, instead of the common perspective that is so prevalent in today's culture.
Our culture teaches people that they Are Victims.
When we process having experiences of victimization and violation these Sacred perspectives bring clarity and are the salve for our wounded Souls during healing. A huge aspect of this way of processing is that we are not defined nor are we diminished by being molested, raped, victimized or violated; these are terrible, horrible and violating experiences but they do not define who we are. When we own our healing and experiences we integrate more deeply that we are not responsible for other people's choices or actions.
In learning to be healthy, we are meant to process and heal all of our experiences through loving and honoring ourselves and all of our lessons. For deep healing we must own all of our lives and we must heal any victim story. This puts us in the place of integration. We are then able to naturally integrate the wisdom from all of our life lessons and experiences.
I was with my first husband for nine years, learning the in depth lesson about different levels and types of abuse. I ended this marriage in 1991.
I then married my current husband with whom I have been able to delve into healing even deeper issues that come with our walk through relationships and our humanity. I feel very blessed to have this walk with my loving husband... my dearest friend.
Another part of my lesson and practicum in this marriage has been the multicultural aspect and blending of yours, mine and ours. And integrating the powerful lessons of my experiences with both of our Ex's. I feel honored and blessed to have a husband who has walked this beautiful journey with me.
Spirit gives us what we need, and not always what we want. Our Soul lessons are the deeper meaning and purpose of our lives. We are here to experience life and our life lessons... All is purposeful and intentional. This is the way we learn and evolve... gaining and integrating wisdom.