Are you numbing the call of your own Soul?
Are you self medicating the pain and ache inside you that are waiting to be healed?
Are you ignoring the signs of your own wake-up call?
Is your life speaking to you, saying... Wake up, it’s possible!
Or is your Soul whispering... shouting... demanding?
Is your life being squeezed out of you... feeling numb, just going through the motions, or are you in avoidance?
Is it another drink... buying something... getting stoned... feeling the need to eat?
Yes, for some people this may be the crutch they need now. Beautiful, the potential to wake up and choose a new way is vibrating at all times. Be willing to see the crutch you need now and understand that now isn't forever. It's just now.
See the ways that you're using various methods to numb yourself to your wounds and your own pain, to your truth, and your Soul calling you to wake up.
What does all of this look like in your own unique life? What are your unique lessons? Remember you came here to live life and to learn from all of your experiences.
You can choose to intentionally open a door for a new way, a new way of coping, a more effective way of dealing with life and being in the world. Feel the potential vibrating before you...
I’m willing to be Real, and see what is.
I’m willing to speak truth about what is, with integrity.
I’m willing to process whatever is here with the intention of healing and transforming.
I will hold myself accountable.
I will walk all the way through this process. No matter what.
I will be with my authentic way in healing through Spirit minute by minute, moment by moment until. Until, Until. Until things shift.
I will sit with all that is before me, the reality of my life in the context of this moment until it is transformed completely.
I will process whatever is needed until it is transformed.
I will accept what is and work with it, and find my way. I will keep walking.
Holding the intention of shifting, recalibrating and transforming.
Doing so without agenda or outcome.
As it unfolds.
Not trying to fix it all at once, not trying to fix it at all.
Let all unfold.
What is right now.
In working with healing in the natural principles things will unfold.
This is how it works.
Being willing to see, feel, keep walking and owning all that is there and opening up to the natural process, I will find my authentic and be healed.
Being willing to feel uncomfortable and honoring that this is just part of life. And this too shall pass.
Be open to whatever arises now and now and now as I hold this unfolding of processing intention. It is time.
Choose to see the power of present moment
And present moment potential vibrating before you.
Even if that means at first literally making the choice for a new way, being healthy, authentic, aligned, real, truthful and having your Spirit and Higher Self lead your life.
If one of the ways your ego is showing up in your life is in the form of energetic walls defending your heart and your wounded child, you have the ability and the choice to allow the walls to be broken down. This may be a repetitive choice process, but if you are willing to be persistent, it can be done.
Just as you were making a choice to defend your walls and keep them up... even if this choice felt unconscious... it was still a choice. You can now make a different choice to tear them down. Start by seeking help, professional or self help through the plethora of books and resources that are readily available. It has been beautiful to see public libraries expanding their book selections to include the self help industry.
What I have witnessed throughout my life is people often want desperately to believe they don't have a choice. They feel they can’t help what has happened, and that their life is not their creation. People can, at times want to believe this so much that they become somewhat insane rather than own their life. Owning our lives is the clean internal power we are seeking. This opens us up to our integrity and alignment with our authentic selves and it is also the door to our freedom.
The power of the present moment, and the power of choice and intention is EVERYTHING. It’s Everything.
This process may take practice and dedication and you will have the natural experience of vacillation during this shifting, healing and transforming of your life from victim powerlessness into choice and personal power, but again it can be done if you make the choice. You can start Now!!!
The Universe can come in behind and support you and can also meet you right where you are. This is the Law of the Universe responding to your actions, intentions and choices.
Distortion... Pain and Discomfort are not good for us, so we should try to avoid any experience that may lead to these states.
We call to your Soul that you may start feeling this huge distortion. We encourage you to see and feel for yourself how this belief leads to addictive behaviors. The truth is, in our natural state we are grounded and open to our pain, discomfort and fear and all that they are here to tell us.
These feeling states are part of our learning, experience and humanity. We can learn to be comfortable with our discomfort. It will not kill us.
Reality... It is natural that we would feel uncomfortable and afraid when sitting on all this dishonesty and dysfunction. Fear and Discomfort are natural responses... they are here to alert and awaken us so we can heal.
It is Time to Heal Our Culture's Love Affair With Spiritual and Healing Bypass
The way into healing is to deeply love, honor and respect all your feelings and experiences.
Open up to what your feelings and experiences are trying to help you hear, see and know about yourself and your life. This is the guidance into the places where you need healing... these feelings and experiences are pointing you toward your life lessons, wisdom and transformation. They are your road map.
It is time to realize we do not need to rise above our own feelings. When used as a way of coping, rising above things becomes avoidance. The emotions and issues remain... nothing is resolved or healed. There are occasions where discerning things to be insignificant in the whole of our lives is where rising above would be an aligned and healthy choice. Here is where this action serves.
We are now looking at a time in our history where too many have risen above real issues and they have not gone away or gotten better. As our social collective reality shows, these real issues have gotten bigger and have become worse. We must now deal with our stuff… All of it!
Processing is going all the way through what is in your life… the reality of life. In processing, our willingness to see what is Real heals us.
We teach and encourage that to be whole we must love, honor and respect ALL feelings, experiences and elements of our life. This does not mean they are all right and correct but in order to integrate our lessons, knowledge and wisdom, we must embrace all the aspects that they hold.
We are encouraging the Love of what all these emotions, feelings and experiences teach us. As part of our work we are holding healing for our World by people living an aligned life… alignment with ourselves, our feelings, experiences and our emotions.
A few of the aspects we are introducing that you are not commonly told to love, are anger and hatred. Let’s be clear that this doesn’t mean to go act on hatred or manufacture it and make it bigger. We are teaching people to embrace and be Real about human emotions and also be willing to open up to why they are here.
A way to open up can be simply asking... Why are you here... Anger? What are you trying to show me and make me aware of? Is there a boundary that needs to be set or that is being breached? Am I not having my own back?
This sounds simplistic and perhaps silly, but the truth is few people actually follow through with seeing what their feelings and emotions are trying to tell them.
Be willing to stop and acknowledge how this emotion might be here to serve you. The way we heal our anger and hatred is by opening up to the reality that it is here.
Next if we will honor and respect our feelings of anger and hatred with great openness, these feelings will start to dissipate naturally. It is your avoidance and suppression of your anger and hatred that create a backlog which then disconnects you from yourself.
Honoring our undesirable parts are already here
is a way we can start healing...
In our disconnection we are at risk of losing control over our emotions. We are not able to use our full faculties and discernment when we respond, so we end up reacting. Most people fear this and are afraid they will be out of control.
The truth is… when we are open to seeing all of ourselves and our emotions… with love, honor and respect we become friends with ourselves again, which gives us more control over our choices and our actions.
Our willingness to feel our feelings does not mean that they lead us. We have the ability to make decisions and choose our way through life. We are responsible and accountable for our life choices and decisions. When we own our life we grow in personal power and integrity… it is time to remember this is our responsibility and our duty.
Our life, our lessons, what we learn from and then integrate becomes our wisdom… all is Sacred. It is time to know that this is one of the great purposes of your life!
Another emotion that can be misunderstood is sadness. In our work we teach that allowing yourself to deeply feel your sadness... see it as Sacred purification, and then to process it all the way through, cleanses your Soul.
The same foundational methodology applies here. If you stuff and suppress your feelings, this creates a backlog and disconnects you from yourself… suppressing sadness will eventually lead to depression. If on the other hand, you go the other route trying to rise above your sadness you do not resolve or heal anything. This method of emotional avoidance has been termed spiritual bypass by John Welwood.
It is time to Love All.
To follow what is aligned with your Soul knowing… follow and bring in what is healthy for your life, your Sacred space and your Higher Self.
It is time to Wake Up!
Our Soul’s Purposeful Walk into Spiritual Knowing and Wisdom...Walking in Light and Walking in Darkness.
Walking in Light . . .
Walking in light is reflected by my loving and honoring all aspects of my humanity. The beautiful reflection of my own vibration is shown when I walk in my truth, knowing and the offering of my gifts to the world.
I want to be real. When I am in light I want to see what is here. I want to see my life and I want to see myself. The more I can see myself, the more I can relax into my body and hear my own guidance.
I don’t want to hide and protect things. I want to be open and willing to heal my Shadow. Which will help me see and speak truth in a more profound way. This choice to go into my Shadow to heal and integrate what is there... brings clarity, understanding and a deeper connection with myself and others.
Things can be messy but our humanity and authentic selves are worth it. Things can look and feel bad and wrong, but remember that doesn’t mean the sky is falling. I can walk in faith knowing that there really is a purpose to life and learn to live in trust.
When I am willing to be open I want things to be seen for what they are. There is no need to distort... truth is welcome.
Accountability becomes a natural aspect of life because when we are in love and honor of ourselves we want to own our lives.
In the state of wholeness I am willing and open to talk about my accountability. In healthy relationship both parties are accountable.
There is no need for drama when the desire to be real is present. I can see and know my issues, weaknesses, flaws, shadow and dysfunction. And own them.
My openness and willingness to walk through all that is before me is my organic walk into my own healing and transformation. I can then see, feel and own my feelings, thoughts and actions. Allowing my experiences to lead me into a deeper understanding of what my life lessons are trying to teach me.
I don’t feel the need to be perfect or deny my shadow. Instead I want to welcome, love and see all aspects of myself including my Shadow. I can shine brightly. I am alive. My spirit and authentic self leads my life.
The road to healing is our Sacred right of choice… choose to create a new way, choose healing. The door to Sacred choice is always vibrating in the present moment.
Yes to shifting our way of being in the world. Choose to heal and be Real even if this means choosing to change into your Higher Self moment by moment, minute by minute. When we choose this way of being our vibration and frequency become higher, we become lighter and emanate the light that is growing within us.
Walking in Darkness . . .
Walking in darkness is when I am not seeing or owning my Shadow. When I am not aware and in authority of my Shadow, my ego is then leading my life which is a purposeful lesson in contrast. Our experience in contrast is an intentional lesson and the door to our authentic self and Spirit. We each came to have our own unique journey with our own degrees and flavors of contrast in humanity which creates the depth of our wisdom.
The Spiritual Truth is these experiences are meant to be seen, we are meant to walk in awareness. It is our natural state. Understand, at some point our lessons in contrast and Shadow must be honored, loved and respected in order to be healed and transformed.
In darkness I don’t want to see. Neither do I want to hear or know what is happening with me, my life or others. I am afraid of truth. The piercing vibration of truth feels like it will burn through the veil that is hiding my Shadow. I live with the uneasy feeling that at any time aspects of my Shadow may be exposed. I feel vulnerable.
I create drama to… detract from being seen... create distortion… avoid truth. I don’t want to be accountable for my thoughts, feelings and actions. I don’t want to see or own my part, it feels too big, it feels too bad… ultimately irredeemable. So I feel compelled to blame others or deflect.
I shut down conversation or exploration about what my part may be or what I may have said or done. From this place I do not feel the truth that owning and being accountable for myself and my life is where my personal power and alignment reside.
If pushed into seeing things about my part, I then try to control and manage how much can be seen. I do this by forgetting, distorting, projecting, spinning things and blaming. I distort what I’m actually doing by trying to control how things look. For some people this can be a conscious choice, whereas for others it may be unconscious.
I feel like I can’t allow things to be seen for what they are. Feeling vulnerable is not an option, so instead I often blame and project. And being real feels like even less of an option, especially when feelings of annihilation and vulnerability take over.
I shut down or control the perspectives of others. This can be done in various ways by having airtight justifications, making others feel dumb or perhaps wrong and if all else fails I will feel and act victimized when anyone tries to approach an issue with me.
I hide my true motives behind a facade of niceness, compassion and false empathy when I really feel angry, punishing, victimized, retaliatory or martyred. I may even do this out of a sense of righteousness. I’ll be better than the people around me. I’ll take the high ground instead of being real.
I need to see myself as all good, and if any seeming bad actions or traits are pointed out then I become a martyr. I shouldn’t even be here! I’m so terrible! This stops others and shuts them down from going into needed conversation and accountability. This stops the truth from being spoken and seen.
I feel I need to be perfect, so I feel justified in critiquing and evaluating others around me. They should be perfect too. I collapse on what I believe is right and become inflexible and rigid when people try to work with me through problems we are encountering. I am shut off to all the potential solutions.
This is our Souls’ walk... an intentional lesson in perseverance, tenacity, empathy, humility, grace, compassion, expanded sight, deeper understanding for the purposefulness of our humanity and creating the depth of our wisdom.
I am walking in darkness and I cannot see.
I cannot see but I can choose to feel the reality... the potential to wake up vibrating within my soul… I can choose to be accountable and own my life, I can choose to create a new way, a healthier way. I can choose to heal by using the power of the present moment and choosing my healthier new way moment by moment, minute by minute.
In healthy relationship we are open to dealing with our humanity, imperfections and frailty (what people tend to think of as flawed vulnerability).
When we find ourselves hiding from our humanity, imperfections and frailty or projecting, we are operating from our ego, persona, dysfunction, perfectionism or addiction. When we are unconscious we also struggle with our humanity and frailty.
In contrast, when we are in our authentic higher self and connected with our Spirit, we are then open to our humanity, imperfections and frailty, and are able to more readily feel what they are here to teach us.
When you haven't been healthy it is unknown to you how healthy might look or feel. And what can be even more complicated is how to be healthy in relationship. We encourage you to be willing to see what you are doing and why and then be willing to choose differently, even if you feel uncomfortable creating a new way.
All this new way needs is your willingness to feel discomfort at first and keep walking through until you have created a new stream or way of being. Do not try to be careful, instead be real.
Be open to seeing yourself and your life. Be open to feeling your own knowing and what it’s telling you about your life. Be willing to feel vulnerable and uncomfortable that you don't know what this new way will be.
Your Soul knows it is in the not knowing where you learn a new way of being. So, tell your ego and persona "Today is a new day. I am willing to walk and be in the unknown and my authentic and spirit are going to be leading my life now". Feel the desire to be healthy. Feel your authenticity in being real. Feel your ability to choose a new way.
In the deep, hardcore wounds and traumas of our lives Forgiveness is a process. Something to be worked and walked through as a natural unfolding.
Forgiveness as a process is not simply about forgiving others and letting them do whatever they want to us. And it is definitely not about forgetting what has occurred. It is about the middle ground of learning whatever is needed from the experience, and shifting that into the wisdom we live by.
As we assimilate these wounds and traumas into our lessons and wisdom, we can process forgiving the others involved, ourselves, what occurred, or all of these... in order to let go of the toxic nature of holding onto unforgiveness. As most us know, the toxicity of not forgiving has a greater negative impact on us than it does on the people we are not forgiving.
Yes, we are all connected, so being in a state of not forgiving can also be impacting the other person involved to a certain degree, but ultimately the only control that we each have is over ourselves. The point is, it starts with ourselves and our willingness to forgive and heal.
When there is deep wounding or trauma, this requires that we go into the process of Forgiveness over and over, deeper and deeper, until we have been cleansed of the toxic emotions that come from that experience or trauma.
The work of Forgiveness needs to start within, in the areas we are blaming ourselves. Whether that is forgiving ourselves for the part we played, not speaking up, not stopping something that needed to be stopped, avoiding our responsibility, or continuing negative or selfish behaviors.
When we get the flow of forgiving ourselves going strongly enough, we are able to open more readily to empathy, understanding, and compassion needed for Forgiveness of others.
Forgiveness is a tool for our human nature, to help us heal our wounds.
It is in our nature to want to evaluate and judge ourselves and our lives. Evaluating and judging create another layer of wounding that not only impact our personal well being, but also our relationships.
We need to be able to heal and redeem ourselves and to mend our relationships. In the instances when a relationship cannot be mended, Forgiveness enables us to work through any of the toxic emotions around its ending.
It is an outlier few who can just hold Forgiveness in their hearts without going through the process of Forgiveness. For the rest of us we need tools to help us to deal with the experience of humanity, being wounded, and walking in this world.
See the power of intentionally using the tools available to us for healing our wounded hearts. Our Wish is to encourage people to see the purposefulness and service of moving into using Forgiveness of self and others as a way of being.
We believe we came here on purpose to experience and learn from life, including our flaws, and all that we consider bad, or what has been referred to as our Shadow.
I, Reese, need to share some aspects of my healing and background as part of this piece, and our work. Our journey together is our service to others. Coming out of a very fundamentalist religious background, knowing all aspects of life are sacred and purposeful has been a salve for my soul.
I now understand my addiction, dysfunction, anorexia, narcissistic tendencies, and PTSD from being in a cult, were part of the purpose and service of my life path. Karen has been teaching me how to heal myself, and supporting me and walking me through healing by being a living example of a grounded, authentic, spirit-led human life.
In our work together, Karen’s presence has been compassionate, intuitive, and empathic. This showed up in a big way, when she guided me through healing from PTSD caused by my year and a half involvement as a young adult in an intensely controlling and abusive cult.
Part of what was so healing was her capacity to fully empathize with and reflect back what I had experienced and felt. No one had ever been able to feel and understand in depth what this had been, and she could feel this too, how it had all been locked away unseen.
I had done a lot of surface processing of these events, but had then closed the door and never really felt the trauma. I did not even realize I had trauma, even though I was exhibiting PTSD symptoms, triggered when talking about anything spiritual or being in any spiritual setting.
I had left the cult through an intense deprogramming initiated by my family, literally snatched off the street and put into a van and taken away to a safe-house. This was nearly 30 years ago. I have a brother who is still in this cult today, totally brainwashed, having cut off ties to his family all these years, and then even his own wife and children.
This is to give a picture of the depth and breadth of one aspect of my trauma and dysfunction. In Karen addressing my trauma, this was a time and place, where empathy, compassion, and grace were aligned responses and created healing. My PTSD symptoms are healed.
However, there are times where a different approach is needed for healing. My addiction, big ego, arrogant and deviant persona, habits of enmeshment, people-pleasing, narcissistic tendencies, victim story, and game-playing tactics--all of these elements required a different set of healing exchanges and methods.
I had a Ph.D in manipulating others and hiding my issues. I was so good at managing all my dysfunction, I fooled every counselor I ever worked with, making them believe I was well-adjusted. These counselors and therapists were reputable in their fields, and from a wide variety of backgrounds and specialties.
Not only did they see me as well-adjusted, they praised me for how together and wise I was. The same thing went on in my higher education in psychology with professors and counselors there. No one saw through my games. They praised me for my wisdom, depth, and spiritual maturity. With this depth of deception and multi-layered self-cons, addiction, and dysfunction, it takes a sacred sledgehammer for most people to break this stuff up!
In our work we are trying to help people understand there is more than one way to be in the world. More than one way to heal. In expansion there is more than one way to do everything, even in everyday life there are a multitude of potentialities, possibilities, and methods. There is not just one right way. ~Karen
I am glad that in our work, we walk in expansion, using many ways to heal. If our work used compassion, grace, and softness only, I would not be healing right now. I would be dead.
My insanity and all its impact on my children would have driven me to suicide by this time. I had already thought about suicide, going through long periods of wanting to die, which I hid from everyone except Karen. I know I would have followed through with that by now, if we had not walked together through my healing.
Part of our work includes Karen mirroring people, helping them feel and see themselves and what they are actually doing, speaking the truth to them so they have the choice to wake up and heal. This is what she has done with me in these hardcore areas of my life, where tough love has been needed. After gently helping me through the earlier parts of healing from trauma, she began to help me see myself.
This was Spirit-led laser truth, speaking to and awakening my authentic self underneath all my layers of bullshit. Part of me wanted the truth. And I know I could never have found my way through all that I had created--50 years of this masterful con--without someone unflinchingly holding the truth before me.
And when this truth-telling is taking place it does not look or feel “nice” to our human selves.
Instead, it triggers all the parts that need to be seen and healed and again, this feels terrible to our human self. Our souls know what to bring up and when to bring it up, so these areas can be triggered, felt, seen, and healed if we choose to.
We feel there is a common misconception that in healing we should never be triggered, we should always feel good, nice, comfortable, and safe. Our issues and traumas are energetic charges waiting to be triggered--so we can then know we have a problem or issue.
There are different potentialities that can show up from having our “stuff” triggered. We again want to emphasize our being triggered is a necessary aspect of waking up, to show that we have issues within us that need to be addressed or healed. ~ Karen
Compassion, softness, and “nice” cannot break through this level of dysfunction. It never did with me. It was a joke. I could easily manipulate and con anyone operating this way, and actually got off on doing so. I felt invincible.
It took someone who would be fierce when needed, confrontational when needed, and non-negotiable in truth-telling. Someone who would hold me accountable. Someone who would say, “Enough!!!” And call out my bullshit and victim stories for what they were. Someone who was ready and able to get to work and heal all of it, encouraging me to fall in love with my Shadow, teaching that it is all here on purpose, and is sacred.
Even though these parts of me felt so triggered and attacked at times, in hindsight I see the reality that this only characterized a small fraction of our encounters. When truth is delivered with the genuine intention to heal, a little goes a long way.
Part of what I want to share about walking in Spirit-led teaching and healing, context and intention always matter. Spirit shows me, along with my own life wisdom, what is needed moment by moment. ~Karen
What I have experienced in my personal life, my education and learning, and with different counselors--when people tend to limit themselves within the confines of compassion, acceptance and understanding, it is ineffective.
Even when therapists or counselors challenged me, it was still within the parameters of being nice and compassionate. I was rarely even nudged out of my comfort zone. Instead I took it more as a challenge to perfect my stories and make them more convincing.
As a parent, I was always trying to be compassionate, accepting, and nice with my kids, not wanting them to feel badly. I thought I was being so loving, but I was not gifting them at all. This was my narcissism, addiction, and persona, wanting my kids to adore me. I was not thinking of their needs.
I was totally ineffective in teaching them about life or themselves. I did not hold boundaries, or really hold them accountable, or speak real truth to them when they needed it. I now see how this pattern in parenting or in other relationships can create ineffectiveness, entitlement/victim stories, addiction, and narcissism. No boundaries or limitations create chaos.
This tough love, hardcore truth-telling when it has been needed, has saved my life. I know nothing less could have broken me free from my own web of deceit and dysfunction. It is continuing to serve my recovery as we write this. Walking with someone who will hold me fully accountable is a lifeline to sanity.
This is not an exaggeration. My sanity and my life have been on the line many different times in the last several years, as my years of dysfunction had gathered momentum. The truth of my life was beginning to catch up with me, and break through my delusion. The truth was so far from the lies I had told myself, I couldn’t cope with this looming reality.
The craziness and addiction has felt so intense at times, so physically and emotionally overwhelming, I felt like I was walking on the very edge of an abyss. And I could fall over into complete insanity, into being totally untethered in any second.
This has required learning to walk moment by moment, holding onto the truth. This is okay, and needed. The truth is the lifeline, even when the truth is incredibly painful to see and feel.
The truth heals when we are open to seeing that the truth is here to help us wake up and learn, to create depth and wisdom, compassion, understanding, humility, and ownership of our lives and our power. And to embrace the truth, we must be willing to have great love, respect, and honor for whatever that truth is showing us.
In our work together, I have been guided and supported to embrace the truth, what is real, even if it is not pretty, and even if it seems absolutely terrible. Seeing the truth still heals. What is real can heal us.
Facing the things about myself that seem the worst have been the most freeing and grounding for me. This is how I am getting my power back. I am growing into loving and honoring these aspects, which before I ran from and spun myself into near-insanity trying to avoid.
I am so appreciative from the bottom of my heart for how Karen has helped me shift into seeing these as my beautiful lessons and wisdom, giving me clarity to see my life and the life around me.
It is time to be Real...
Embracing the beauty in all that is Real is what burns up your fragile ego and its vulnerability...
Enabling your Higher Self to step forward in your own knowing...
And the power of your knowing creates your own current of trust and faith...
This will be salve for your Soul…
The salve that you've tried to find perhaps through games, drama, self medicating, distractions and dysfunction… the void within...