In the deep, hardcore wounds and traumas of our lives Forgiveness is a process. Something to be worked and walked through as a natural unfolding.
Forgiveness as a process is not simply about forgiving others and letting them do whatever they want to us. And it is definitely not about forgetting what has occurred. It is about the middle ground of learning whatever is needed from the experience, and shifting that into the wisdom we live by.
As we assimilate these wounds and traumas into our lessons and wisdom, we can process forgiving the others involved, ourselves, what occurred, or all of these... in order to let go of the toxic nature of holding onto unforgiveness. As most us know, the toxicity of not forgiving has a greater negative impact on us than it does on the people we are not forgiving.
Yes, we are all connected, so being in a state of not forgiving can also be impacting the other person involved to a certain degree, but ultimately the only control that we each have is over ourselves. The point is, it starts with ourselves and our willingness to forgive and heal.
When there is deep wounding or trauma, this requires that we go into the process of Forgiveness over and over, deeper and deeper, until we have been cleansed of the toxic emotions that come from that experience or trauma.
The work of Forgiveness needs to start within, in the areas we are blaming ourselves. Whether that is forgiving ourselves for the part we played, not speaking up, not stopping something that needed to be stopped, avoiding our responsibility, or continuing negative or selfish behaviors.
When we get the flow of forgiving ourselves going strongly enough, we are able to open more readily to empathy, understanding, and compassion needed for Forgiveness of others.
Forgiveness is a tool for our human nature, to help us heal our wounds.
It is in our nature to want to evaluate and judge ourselves and our lives. Evaluating and judging create another layer of wounding that not only impact our personal well being, but also our relationships.
We need to be able to heal and redeem ourselves and to mend our relationships. In the instances when a relationship cannot be mended, Forgiveness enables us to work through any of the toxic emotions around its ending.
It is an outlier few who can just hold Forgiveness in their hearts without going through the process of Forgiveness. For the rest of us we need tools to help us to deal with the experience of humanity, being wounded, and walking in this world.
See the power of intentionally using the tools available to us for healing our wounded hearts. Our Wish is to encourage people to see the purposefulness and service of moving into using Forgiveness of self and others as a way of being.